I think long profiles are really interesting, but everytime I type something, I just think that its not coming out how I want to, or it just doesnt make sense to me half the time. I guess I can never express myself good enough. Anyway Im Szelin, I dont update here very often cos I don't want to be a bad example (ha-ha I know right) if you know me Im @ dearestblank.lj instead, pictures will be here every now and then.

November 2007December 2007January 2008February 2008March 2008April 2008May 2008June 2008July 2008August 2008September 2008October 2008November 2008December 2008January 2009February 2009March 2009April 2009May 2009June 2009July 2009August 2009September 2009October 2009November 2009December 2009January 2010February 2010March 2010April 2010May 2010June 2010August 2010October 2010

Whooo, its 1st May,
Its going to be a better month,
Its okay if you left without and footprints,
but there were just too many

I don't know how to explain this,
but I made it on a friday so there was a possibility you all could come,
if any later than that its too late.
I thought you will understand.
things haven't been the same if you realise.
I dont know what to say.
Its a total different feeling buddy.
I thought it would still be the same, no difference.
Now I give you that space.

im back.
anyway yesterday training went smoothly and all.
and now ainsley dont like working with me):
hahaha.
home-d with sam and jiwon.
hahaha, hypered way home.
yesterday was the last day to get ezlink done
so my aunt have to do it for me.
but my photo was with me, so she had to come all the way to school to get it from me.
ofc got alot of nagging.
she even hung up on me.
tsk tsk.
stupid.
today I manage to catch the bus.
was early in school.
Ivie cant kee secrets one lor.
rahhh.
oh yes people seriously stop asking me if i like whoever and whoever.
and stop saying that this person like that person but that person is with someone else.
omg seriously.
during recess today, I stepped on this sec 4 girl shoe and it came off,
she turned around at shout cb at me.
I really got an urge to shout back but im in school.
but for goodness sake her shoe wasnt even worn its just slip on.
rah.
I think I screwed chi listening,
cos I fell asleep.
the worst thing you can do in a listening test is to fall asleep.
Jac too fell asleep.
hahaha.
Kiana sat next to me today, and she got very confused by stuff I told her.
xintian and kiana going to check the price for clique jersey tmr,
how nice.
hahaha.
Im staying at home tmr.
finally installed the photoshop thingy.
and gosh risa help Idk how to use it la.
lol.
okay im lazy to blog more.
so I shall end here.
reminder: U14 training next tues and thurs.

sam im blogging now!
hahaha.
not me actually. but this is what i wrote to post about.
didnt take bus today, uncle fetch me to school.
all i need to do is go to the room and say
eh....its 6o'clock already...
he'll bring me to school. hahaha.
normal routine, breakfast in the morning and so on.
oh yes talking about yesterday's training.
play with new-zealand-ians. their shortest was our tallest -.-
we got thrashed 9-40(?) plus.
demoralising.lol.
but good experience(: tough match.
sam's mom sent tricia trina and i to newton.
hilarious ride.
motorcycle! (inside joke, ivie)
hahaha.
went home bathe and bla bla bla.
recess was lonely sitting with any someone.
eh walau calling you someone damn weird can?
hahaha.
training again today.
looking forward:)
maths class we were brought to com lab.
my chance to visit friendster and so on :
hahaha.
lynette didnt mute the com she went to blog got music.
lol, loser.
i want lynette be my partner): more fun.
hahaha. no more bitching in class ):

iris ivie im not lian, thank you :D
oh yeah did i say i cabbed to school 3 days out of 5 days last week?
ivie+amelia= deep dark secrets yo!
tsk tsk.
lao shi not here.
awesome:)))
cabbed to school today too.
stupid uncle never give me discount la.
bleh.
i shall wake up early tmr and take bus instead.
anyone buy my black sweater 10 bucks. Free size yoz!

When you look me in the eyes
If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more,
I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head up high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms,
I know that it's forever.
I just gotta let you know,
I never wanna let you go.

When you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh

movie very draggy
but parts of it were sad.
cried and my eyeliner ruin it all.
stupid.
anyway walked around with yas after that.
ate ice cream walked around again.
she had to leave around 2 to 3 so i left and went to novena
I walked around bought wallet and a top.
but the top kinda regret i look freakingly fat in it
anyway yeah im looking forward to fri when i can use the com again
amelia will be posting for me again
so yeah.
tmr's training.
ok enjoy th pics(:

went grandma's house met kat.
bought fun fair ticket.
spent 10 bucks.
im sucha broke slut.
and im going out tmr awesome or what.
tskk.
and im so slow, to realise idiot's youngest sis is in smps now.
shit why not last year,
she's goddamit adorable.
hahahahah.
yeah fine im slowwwww.
hahahaha.
have to wake up early tmr to get ready and all. stupid.
chao. byeeee

talked to someone.
text yas.
talked about tmr.
bugis-ing.
I woke up at 11 today,
omg finally.
reminder: remind yas to bring tickets.
Im looking forward to Mon somehow.
friendly with duno which country yoz.
Netballers from SMPS: Miss Seng's belated birthday is held next fri 2nd May.
yes, bring food too.
hahaha.
cake has already been taken.
nothing much today, so short post.
I think I suck in art btw.

Wed was probably not my day,
but good news fdor me I got through U14 seond round.
they are still reducing.
and only 12 will be left.
told aunt and uncle, all they could say i so?
yeah well it was important for me.
nvm then sucker pick on me again and again.
ruin my mood.
slam the chair went to bed then my aunt came and talk to me,
I didnt say a single thing just cry and cry.
reminder: write what I hate abt the family.
then talked to Amelia with my husky voice((: hahaha.
bitching probably did cheer me up.
Thurs.
got wake up call from Amelia and Yas
Amelia called I went back to bed,
when yas called then I wake up.
trying out to go to school tgt with yas is a total disastrous.
we reach school at 7.17am?
make yas waited for me after 2 153 buses pass.
sorry:\
there was time to go to put our bags in class so we ran up and ran down again.
atonomous status thingy, rahh.
did cheers and school songs.
continued with PE
did badly, I want to fuckingly redo my shuttle run cos I did really badly.
sit and reach- 51cm
Inclined-Pull-ups-29
standing broad jump-175cm
shuttle run- 10.59(!!)
sucks, this is the worst I've done.
recess no comment.
maths, class was very competitive, which got me very irritated,
cos it was just 5 points and some group have to quarrel over it.
omg seriously.
I like estimation and inequalities.
lols. oh and Mr Lim was amused by someone's watch.
Today,
during maths class was hilarious.
receive signal.
LOL.
inside (see ivie) joke.
hahaha.
den recess with yas and so on.
Life session was awesome.
I love praise and worship and I thought the talk was really meaningful(:
waited till 3 plus then went off to flag a cab,
but trina tricia and I couldnt get a cab so sam's mum have to go down to get us.
that explain why I hate flagging cabs.
lol.
went there changed then so on.
collected details for miss saahdiah.
oh well.
I've to email it to her.
I think I did badly today.
oh man I hope Im not out.
sheesh.
oh funnaye thing happen, shocking too.
conversation with kim from ij tp, I was WD she was WA.
kim: you sec 1 or sec 2?
me: sec 1
kim: you are C last year right?
me: yeah.
kim: I thought you were a ballerina.
me: What?!
kim: ya ya you run like one.
me: HAHAHA, your kidding.
omg seriously how do you differentiate a normal person running and a ballerina running.
lol, but its funny.
ahahaaha.
went to MRT with sam.
oh yeah we thought we missed the stop but actually it was going down to the interchange.
lol, embarrassing sey.
anyway talked about memories and all.
I miss SNT06)):
hahaha.
yepps.
reached home about 8 plus ate first.
happiest thing the new maid arrived.
and she look quite nice(: hahaha.
Chores bye bye I wont be touching you now, irritating stuff.
hahaha.
im tired training wasnt that tough but im still tired.
next training on mon and tues.
alrightys I have to send miss saahdiah the stuff now so byeeeeee.

heyho.
grats SNT'08 work harder JNT'08.
have to kope Rachella and Esther.
very good yoz :D
met beckah, pregnant woman la.
lol.
Jannelle sabo me, that idiot.
Michelle is so cute^^
sit on my lap pull me around.
Jac you can sell her to me, you can buy mine(:
could have take a ride from beckah,
but being a nice senior i waited with Nurul, and she followed me
to the adventure of searching the toilet,
and the encounter with that mad guy. lol.
saw annabel waited with her also :D
but i went home first too late le.
oh yeah i skip lunch just to go for their match,
juniors i know you love me(: nanana
we've back to little women again-.-
and i slapped lynette again. lol.
and now she don't want let me drink her lemon barley.

reminders:
-friday results of U14/Miss Seng's birthday celebration (?)
-sun out with yas
-call evan today discuss for alumni

I just finish talking to JET.

oh well thrashed out all prob, she thrashed out her's too.

just keep going like I did, until a moment I cant take it anymore,

I burst,

you still got me like how I still got you(:

anyway JET gave me an idea to say.

Im out from assuming, I learnt from that childish act,

at least I can change.

don't try to make me jealous,

cause i got over and i'm moving on oh so fine.

play a little with my heart ): its a little fucking feeling


stayed back yesterday.
home-working.
went around doing that stupid hand trick Danielle told me.
to Ann, Lynette, Amelia, Ivie, Iris, Sharmini
Iris and Sharmini chased me la.
Iris strangle me Sharmini tickle me -.-
struggled with art abit then went home.
after yasira tried to pull me into 153. lol.
cabbed to school today and yesterday,
i've become so tired nowadays :/
changed seat and lynnette's seat the table gutter damn dirty ):
kiana reminded me i didn't bring 1c textbook. rah.
debatting.
clara was scary.
kiana delay time.
natasha she mumbles.
lols. but y'all did great(:
i'm writing this at 8.25am so ther's a long way to go.
i found out dark secrets of peeeeeepeeeel.
hahahahas.
and Ms Ow is boring~~~~
and yas was being so kind to help me get pepsi
and amelia for greentea meiji(:
i want training yoz
lol.
okay shdn't crap anymore, listening to class
byeeeeeee.



What hurts the most was the being so close-rascal flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

tell me everything ain't true

sat

*phone vibraters*
sze lin:*wakes up pick up call* hello
sam: hello. sze lin where are you?
sze lin: OMG! shit, what's the time now?!
sam: 7.20am
sze lin: shit! okay bye


what a great way to start the day.
my alarm didn't ring, almost late for U14s.
went there met tricia trina sam JT bilah evan elle beckah,
my number 131. group E.
i was the only one in E.
awesome.
but i made friends with Adeline(?) she's niceeee(:
my ass hurts the whole day.
i played i didn't care.
got through round 1
waiting for my round 2 results.
hoping and prayind i made through.
went home. met ratana at the bus stop.
she didn't see me first.
she saw JT first ):
anyway, she looked different.
okay went home, soon went for chalet.
grandma's birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA.
I LOVE YOU (:
she's one of a kind, so cute(:
went for bowling and pool.
first time for pool, i was quite good at it (:
HAHA ego.
fun with lovelies.
cousins were high.
laughing at every single thing
suppose to than fell asleep.
i went back to aunty's house. slept at 4+ woke up at 1+.
woke up ate brunch.
then followed my grandma to the temple with roseanne.
my grandma super cute lah she omg!
hahaha.
then they sent me home.
home is hatred man.
sucks.

thanks to amelia, that she help me post (amelia here)
tmr is juniors final
all the best(: your dearest senior will be there,
look out for me(:
school today was quite okay.
besides the fact that i got stomach ache during MT
i got to go to the toilet(: hahaha
i love fishes (inner joke) hahaha.
okay byeeee.


She left me - McFly

She walked in and said she didn't wanna know
Anymore
Before i could ask why she was gone out the door
I didn't know, what i did wrong
But now i just can't move on

Since she left me
She told me
Don't worry
You'll be OK you don't need me
Believe me you'll be fine
Then i knew what she meant
And it's not what she said
Now i can't believe that she's gone

I tried calling her up on her phone
No one's there,
I've left messages after the tone...
Really?
Yeah man loads

I didn't know, what i did wrong
But now i just can't move on

[Chorus]

nban form com.
sun mon tues wed thurs.
text me instead(:

oh yeah got addicted to Daphne Khoo's songsss.
anyway in the morning I fell on the stairs.
landed on my ass down.
omg it sucks.
great way to start my day with.
anyway so now my butt hurts and Idk how to go for U14s tmr.
Chapel's rockker today.
I want to steal lynette's watch.
hahaha.
CT im going to fail.
I learnt wrong chapter.
Thanks yas thanks alot.
after school went to dental.
now its ORANGEEEEEE.
hahaha,
they did stuff that were different.
adding rubber bands.
now its aching.
chiong down to primary school.
didnt see miss goh.
saw miss seng lynette miss chua.
played game 11 goals was super longgg.
thats how i felt.
especially with a butt hurting.
tricia trina and I won even with ONLY 3 of us.
hahahaha.
talked to miss seng for quite a long time.
den tricia trina jamie asked lynette maths questions-.-
Miss chua sent us down to tekka market den tricia trina took cab
jamie was sent HOME.
I waited for BUS.
awesome.
went homeeeeeee. thats all.
tricia is so not poetic.
hhahahahaha.
seeya guy tmr(:
hahaha. chao.

Wrong- Daphne Khoo

Daddy doesnt like me to lock the door
I'm too frustrated to care no more
cage me up it's ok
cause if not I'm gonna explode over this whole darn place

I'm thinkin too much about it,
cant't ignore it, all I can do is
wonder if it's worth it, cus it's
tearing me up
pulling me apart

Get me out of here
you're everywhere I go,
in a magazine, or on some stypid TV show
It's like hell on earth
and nothing that i thought i deserve
I was so wrong about you
it hurts

Close my eyes and think about the past,
can't believe we gave up just like that
Guess all the 'I love you's were untrue
I'm sure that I wasnt lying, I'm not so sure about you

Thank you, for all th smiles we had
And thank you, for all the, warmth that you shared
Goodbye to all our memories
they're gone, so long

Daddy doesnt like me to lock the door
I'm too frustrated to care no more.




Lovely songgg(:

sucks, it was raining in th morning.
so PE did sit and reach and incline pull ups.
51cm for sit and reach 27 incline pull ups.
currently both A.
good luck to everyone.
hahaha.
slept in Maths class as in instantly slept.
I lay my head down then I waited for a question to be gone through, but Mr Tan took so long,
and I fell asleep.
den few min later I woke up cos of disturbance.
lols.
Mother Tongue was awesome,
cos lao shi werent here.
and we didnt complete the work.
so yeah. Sci was boring, change teacher Miss Tan.
you cannot talk alot yet you cannot pay attention.
man.
after school yas and I and Mindy followed someone to sec 3/7
went to level 2 walk one round then realise its at level 3.
so yas and I being so laazy went for lunch instead.
laughing retardedly at every single thing.
lollipop given by Mr Tan,I ate it,
and Tee Jin Hui started chasing me around for the lollipop like some mad woman.
but she didnt get me(:
hahaha.
Did homework.
for 1 hour I only wrote 12 lines of words.
stupid.
wasting time la.
den took 153 with yas.
wasting of time also when I could actually take 186 that was directly behind 153.
go pull me take 153.
tsk tsk.
that suayslut talk super loudly i swear.
lols.
so malu la yas take bus with you.
anyway yeah den went home.
no one was a home, so peace of mind,
did rest of my homework and all.
reminders:
sign common test.
dental appointment tmr.
Ah ma's birthday on sat
U14 selection on sat

I forgot tmr is 2.4
and my target is 11 min.
I know its possible(:
and I got the reason to sprint all the way,
and yes I did say I need a run, so tmr is ncie(:
depends if my flu gets well, if not it'll just suck.
I'll not re-run 2.4 like how I re-ran for 1.6
just kill me.
I must get 11min.
I can finish 1 round in 1.5 min.
so yeah its possible.
go me(:

mummy, wo zhi you yi dian dian de xiang nian,
zhe me ban?

took a look at the class blog,
lynette the skin not niceeee.
kay I should go find one.
the current sotd(by lyricaltragedy) is quite nice(:
so today was tiring,
probably cos im sick.
sneezing marathon and running nose.
wanted to go home after school but ended up staying in school with Jac.
til 3.30pm den went to tp, went different ways.
took the bus homeee.
Yas was like speaking to me in malay cos she didnt want Jac and Jannelle to know what we were talking about.
her malay is like erm erm erm erm erm.
so many erms in the middle.
funnaye( the way jamie says it)
oh praise myself, I was oh so kind to wait for yasira yusoff at the bus stop(:
ecpb, whats with that look uh uh uh.
lols,
i so got 3 books to read,
and now I wna read twilight.
thanks to someone.

To JET:
yes just 3 words you can make me cry
: run to me.
I swear that meant alot.
since now I got no one to run to.
its like I got a car with no key.
you said I can take my time to grow up,
cos big girls DONT cry(:
thi sat rmb,
im going for you, so we'll get in together((:
ily damn alot-ly(:

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,I got over you.

there are different sluts in th world,
and yas your the suay slut.
hahahaha.
im a happy kid today yoz.
prize presentation in th morning.
den they had to meet monitress so I went.
den got trick by danielle.
stupid joke.
lols.
english encounter was crappy.
speaking with stupid accent.
den followed by greeting Mr Tan with that stupid accent.
lame shit.
noodle stall aunty not here again,
and I dont like porridge so I didnt bother to eat something light.
Kiana Koh disturb me all the way today.
all the way to 3.40pm
yeah went to take my CT,
I can truthfully say that I hate algebra to the max.
anyway, crapped with Mr Tan,
quite funnaye.
Pizza Hut.
hahahaha.
link link link, wth.
kiana was waiting for me to spit my chrysanthemum out of my mouth again.
whatever la whatever,
im never going to drink in front of you again
training stop for a week, continue next week.
oh yes yas that means I have no time on friday
for the movie.
sucks.
and sat sun wait longgggg.
cos next week probably i got no time,
due to yknow the reason.
this week I got chalet.
that reminds me of the last time I went back for juniors training.
hahahaha.
oh yes Evan call me soon!
I keep forgetting.
oh guess what I saw the paper the sci paper your did on fri
hahahaha.
jac lee let me seeee(:
LUYI GOT BRACESSSS(:
yas go get too.
anyway thanks for the awesome choc and gummy.
quite long away when I give myself a choco treat(:
minus those at games.
tricia is so starting to call me linah.
Lin + Minah=linah.
wth?
hahahaha.
okay idk how long I'll have to go if I continue everything.
hahaha loved today(:

before I go know that I got a reason creating the whole shit,
and Im glad I did it.

yknow what
dont judge my life for me.
thanks alot for getting out of the way.
call me a bitch slut wtv
im one.
lost the match today.
i wouldnt say we didnt play well at all.
but the last 4 min was great.
i shed a tear
alright it was much better than how i felt the last match.
i gave away how many tons of balls?
sorry :\
pizza after match.
watched the rest of the match and finals.
so yes rgs won cedar for b div.
ij won rgs for c div.
ssp won ij tp for b div.
yepps.
after everything went lj with jamie danielle iris tricia trina.
shit i found myself highing with
ANTI PREFECTS and songs.
trina jamie scared of meeee.
lols.
oh yeah during the rest of the match hang around with jt bilah.
grats la grats la.
hahaha.
jt and my mp3.
and she drank from my bottle sucking right from the top.
jt: *took my bottle drank*
szelin: why are you drinking from my bottle??
jt: *put bottle down*
szelin: why did you drink from my bottle??
jt: *look at bottle* oh shit.
lols. I miss her man.
after today it'll be like a see you once in a while thing.
oh yes evan got to talk to you soon.
about miss seng's birthday.
alumni thingy.
yeps so back to topic after lj went to interchange with iris.
she took 144 and the whole group of ij people (netballer) were there with coach.
hahahaha she was scared or rather she felt embarrassed for duno what reasons.
ride home was much of stoning and all since dearest yas didnt reply my sms.
oh yeah everyone who text me to cheer up and wtv.
thanks loads.
Dione I dont look babelicious.
((:
and Im not fierce(:
Yas dont be scared when I emo
I dont kill tau?
hahahaha.
and dont ever giggle man.
I didnt do it on purpose.
((: be nice.
chocolates for me tmr.although i cant freakingly eat choc.
thanks to my sore throat and everything.
lol.
common test tmr for me.
great.
missed fri common test and tmr common tet replacement for me.
rahh.
dental appointment on fri.
no training for this week.
probably next week?
idk depends if we want to continue.
ofc i want to continue((:
hahaha.
we'll see.

last msg here cos its not neccessary
im moving on im not going to bother
i dont want your dearest to think im still hanging on
cos probably I dont give it a shit anymore
all i get are lies and I dont like it
your moving on oh so fine
and I got no idea why im still here
so goodbye.

saw tht bulletin,
if you need a answer,
yes you did steal.
back from m'sia,
the trip sucked.
partially cos all that I've been doing is sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
im like vegetarian now,
cos all i ate for lunch and dinner was vege,
with rice.
yeah.
bloody aunt mary came to visit the longest time ever.
anyway, tmr's game on.
im not going to care im going to play.
I think I lose part of my voiceeee.
but wthck cares la.
so yeah cdiv'08 tmr the last match.
make it a good one.
sorry I screwed up the last one.
but im going to do my best tmr.
thanks for all the GWSs(:

all those lies

woke up in the morning,
was having high fever> 38.4
so didnt go to school.
instead continue sleeping till appointment for doc.
came home ate abit slept again.
leaving for malaysia tonight(?)
I so dont wna go luh.
I just wna stay at home and rest
missed CT today.
missed international friendship thingy.
missed training.
missed Miss chng's birthday.
oh well.
yas got something for me((:
hahaha, she was pestering me to come to school this morning.
I want to but I cant):
my sore throat is killing me
and my headache is killing me.
next week ah ma birthday fri to sun chalet(:
yayness.
catch up with lovelies.
okay okay,
hope I get better by mon.
thanks to those who ask about me(:

just take away the words I say

after today's defeat what so ever.
I suddenly miss smps alot.
I miss morning and recess netball-ing
I miss Miss Seng's jokes even cold ones.
I miss going through all the tough training even is that means suicides till one person gets 27s.
I miss all the full attendance.
I miss praying before training consistently.
I miss birthday blessings.
I miss late recesses staying back to mark corrections.
I miss going out for games.
I miss walking down hill with dearest.
I miss calling Miss Seng asking for the rounds.
I miss jogs and sprint.
I miss Miss Chua's stories.
I miss reading well.
I miss pizza treats.
I miss star wars.
I miss stock taking.
I miss soul garden treats.
I miss pepper lunch.
I miss good friends.
I miss making that someone jealous.
I miss collecting payment for anything.
I miss hmt at com lab.
I miss annoying Jia Jia during mother tongue.
I miss taking classes in the morning.
I miss Miss yeo's boring lessons.
I miss sitting beside Jackie annoying her.
I miss bear hugs from JET.
I miss laughing loudly while walking down screaming and telling stories.
I miss all the teachers.
I miss everything there.
I miss the netball court.
I miss I miss...

To jet(:
It might have been difficult for you there,
without wtv problems and all the super tough training.
it seem like a very long time since we last talk,
but it was just yesterday,
I miss bear hugs):
I miss your therapy sessions.
I didnt have it on 010308.
I didnt have you with me, when I was at my worst state.
I know your always there, mentally but not physically.
like what I said working you for 3 years,
now I lobe to veno sometimes I forgot its her.
I miss how I lobe to you and you'll catch without fail,
I miss having the team named- unbeatable.

probably some of you had done your best.
but sorry I didnt):
only if I played better we could have make it.

left class at 9.30 train and everything.
den left for toa payoh.
warm up wen very smoothly i would say.
link down was awesome.
1st quarter was okay.. down by 1.
second quarter I started to play suckishly.
den so on.
Im disappointed everyone thought we could make it
but we didnt.
Ms Seng was down having alot of confidence in us
we just screwed it up
oh well not you all but me.
im sorry.
but it wont change a thing.
next game with sss.
I dont like playing with them man.
good friends vs good friends.
sucks.
but all the best(:
I got a bruise at my ankle
for god knows what reason.
I dont know.
watched cedar vs sss match.
sss won.
den went to macs with jamie tricia trina danielle.
disgusting chats.
and tricia mixed chilli with mayo, which gross danielle out.
yes she played a trick on me-.-
I was so scared cos I knew it was a trick.
I didnt fall for the mesed up hair one.
thank god.
two to one talk with miss lum is scary.
not all that scary, but scary.
team talked, iced my bruise.
I totally got no appetite until later after.
ride home.
And i think im running a fever.
oh well going to have a fever.
37.4.
oh no sucks much.
I got a cough too.
Monday finals against sss.
1E2 and 1E5 going down((:
yayness.

hanky pankyness you

Tmr is the game C div,
we gna make it this time,
cos we're going to step in wanting every single ball.
trying our best all the way
the game doesnt stop at the 1st 2nd or 3rd quarter it stops and the end of 4th quarter.
we're going to play on mon 1.30 again(:

today aint that long afterall.
chinese funny as usual.
I only got tested on a freaking easy word that Ivie dont know.
hahaha
that Joan got tested twice.
hahaha.
Jac didnt even got called.
sian.
lucky pok.
training den ate lunch at 4+pm.
had team talk before that.
Im broke for this week.
crapster. sucks much.
Fearon people were doing hulla hoop thingy.
Ann was there.
free show, comedy probably.
hahaha.
walked to bus stop with ann den chao home.
Im tired.
I suppose I sleep early today, I dont want to feel tired tmr.
leaving class at 9.30 train train train lunch leave watch warm up game on.

What would she say
I wonder would she just turn away
Or would she promise me
That she's here to stay
It hurts me to wait
I keep asking myself

I hate it when recess is 1o.30 am
I lose concentration.
Got called by that lee teacher, after assembly.
"responsibilty number 1 failed" argh whatever.
Thats cos I thought hand in by tmr,
and for tha name list you didnt know how to read then come and tell me off.
wtf.
I dont want my job anymore man. sucks.
that wan wen like it so much think so easy then take over la.
anyway went to Kiana's house after school. with jannelle
It was raining. heavily.
they were sharing my big big umbrella while I used jannelle small small umbrella.
ran all the way to her house and everyone was urgent.
ate, and talked (to her mum too)
hahaha.
I made jannelle laugh and she choke on coke like how i did on chrysanthemum.
her mum was fun to be with?
hahaha,
went into her room,
played cards when we were suppose to be doing project as said.
hahaha.
anyway left at 4.30.
Kiana sent us out.
and there was a "flood"
ran and scream and finally LRT.
Jannelle had phobia of roller coaster, and she was grabbing hold onto the handle the whole time she was on the LRT.
amazing i didnt know.
anyway I was super urgent again went to the toilet at chua chu kang.
I was like scolding the people in the toilet jumping up and down.
people so urgent outside still talking and laughing with your friend in the toilet.
wth.
anyway after toilet went back.
jannelle srop right at the nxt stop yew tee.
I had to go all the way to Novena.
I was sleeping in the train.
and I knock my head against the door.
I swear it was stupid,
I was standing and sleeping.
Jamie I can do it too(:
hahaha.
Got my shoes from kat then went home.
yayness new shoes((:
get to try it out during training tmr((:
my old shoes cmi already.
hahaha.
Im tired and still is.
I hate long skirts long socks pinned up hair.
rahh.

jealous jealous jealous

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEVINE((:
Training today,
for 2 h?
yeah then did homework with tricia and trina, or might as well I was doodling my way through while tricia was doing her homework and trina going oh I love you, like how I love children.
hahaha.
so jacksonish.
lmao.
ate our lunch(?) after training.
toast and seaweed chicken and chrysanthemum(:
I drank 2 bottles today.
:D
semi semi semi semi semi is cominggggg:D
coolness, cant wait for thurs man.
leave class at 9.30am.
awesome.
hahaha and if we beat rgs ( which we're confident in this time)
there'll probably be no school on mon.
hahaha, love-d man.
tmr nothing on, ask yas if wna go for muvee or I'll ask some other people to go back to somewhere.
they'd probably had plan it.
hahaha,
lalal but juniors will be having game tmr I guess.
tsk tsk.
I had gum stuck on braces just now.
and during chi class hell loads of chrysanthemum tea was spit out from my mouth,
thanks to dearest beverly and joan.
stupid yo.
and did I say I hate wearing long uniform?
Its now middle of knee cap and it sucks.
I altered is long
stupid stupid stupid.
but thats in order not to get caught again.
rahh.
I so want my original length back manzxzxzxz.
I need water okay thats random.
Thursday semis vs rgs, after sss game, gave us the confidence((:

Im just jealous okay, jealous
jealous that you could be so strong

I was being sucha good sister just now,
I bought ice cream for my brother cos he ws crying,
and my sisters got jealous.
hahaha.
Im like rushing my homework la.
edulearn edulearn
practice for emergency thingy.
ah.
its loading super slowly,
its pissing me, omg I want to sleep.
afternoon was texting yas, quite a funny one.
we were thinking ahead,
man it was stupid.
I wna sleep, and I hope I'll just knock off later.
I dont wna just lie and daze.
and then wake up the next day all so tired.
I havent put on my shoe lace yet.
This weekend is screwed.
so screwed.
beside nevine's party.
went out for dinner, then came home and chionmg homework.
theres training tmr I havent call Danielle.
sheesh.
ah okok better chao.

Even before I could grab you, you let go

nevine's party was funnn.
Jamie fetch me there and I fetch her homeee(:
movieeee and cards and foooood.
jamie tricia trina iris and I were the only ones there.
not that crowded this year.
Jamie probably upload the pictures, I dont have it.
I was sucha pig la.
I got so addicted to the brownie like stuff,
while the rest kuehs.
hahaha.
games were funny,
couple of incidents that was super funny
Mr woodcock! super funny hahahaha. JAMIE i know your laughing.
Blades of glory.
john tucker must die is super nice, but i didnt finish it.
saddening.
4 more days till semis. Im excited yo!
hahahaha.
chaos.

I dont care what they say.
Im in love with you

SMSS vs SSS: 27-27

yeah JET even God wanted us to stay as good friends((:
haha anyway good game.
desire was there(:
sorry for continous mistakes
work hard for rgs game.
we told miss seng we're going to see her at tp(:
everyone was very happy that from the next game onwards it'll be in TP.
bring the feeling back and play the best game(:
anyway science was sickening.
Mr Goh was like picking on my group la please.
I know the parts I do, must he ask so much questions.
stupid. rahh.
Im at chapter 17 of ps ily.
I dont like it man Im reading so slowww lor.
tskk.
went for lunchh,
den irritating stuff happened.
*roll eye*
anyway had abit of bonding more or so with sec 1s
anyay sarah was very random after the game today, hahaha
she came right to me hold on to my shoulders and den stare at me den start screaming.
I was kinda shocked?
HAHA.
oh and I think Sarah chan is very funny.
hahaha.
anyway my ankle is still swollen and I dont like it.
it looks like a toopid hamburger.
I havent got nevine's prezzie.
greatt.
ahh.

It was going to be okay

I sprained my ankle,
awesome or what?
And I do feel bad, so dont rub it in.
I know your stress, but dont have to blow up on me.
yes you said sorry I know, and I dont take it to heart.
but yknow I'll feel really bad if we dont make it tmr, and I dont play?
oh well, kay I shant talk about it anymore.
anyway I got a big bumb there, I've iced it for like erm 1h?
the bump is still there.
I think I scare Kiana and clara.
hahaha.
sorry sorry, if how I cried really scare you.
anyway, in the morning spot check,
and guess what I got caught for short skirt.
sheesh.
I stayed at canteen together with Trina (she got caught too)
for 45 minutes, just to get our skirt lengthen.
those prefects out there shorter than mine also never get caught.
blehs.
yayness got my ps ily book(:
thanks amelia.
im at page 57(:
quite slowww.
dont ever interview me, I dont have answers for you, im bad at it.
anyway thanks Jamie for the ride home, I wouldnt know how to go home la.
hahaha.
I want to play for tmr, I really do.
I have to get well by tmr pleaseeee(:
get off to read.
off all the problems and hiccups in life.
byeee.
reminder for me:
* Chi test 16/4
*Dental appointment 11/4
* _____ p _ _ _ _ 5/4
* get the commendation thingy done.
* fin PS ily((:

Im just a chapter of your life,
and I know you got more.

1) what is the best way to get over someone?
- Idk, someone please tell me?
2) What make up do you wear on a daily basis?
- No daily basis.
3) If you could eat one type of food for the rest of ur life wad will it be?
- instant noodles probably.
4) where would you like to be right now?
-anywhere but here.
5)Are you single?
- yeah.
6) Are you okay with it?
- -
7) Anyone on your mind?
- Yeah.
8) Do you currently like anyone?
- -
9) Ever told someone you loved them and not mean it?
- Nopes.
10) Ever been told you were loved by someone who didnt mean it?
- Probably.
11)Have ever been used?
-Probably.
12) Have you ever used anyone?
- No?
13)Cheating acceptable in a relationship?
- Noppes.
14) what is your biggest fear?
- My biggest fear is just you.
15) Who was the last person to call you?
- Doc Low?
16) would you ever date an alcoholic/smoker?
- Nope.
17) Last time you cried
-Last night.
18) why u cried?
- -
19) Ever done something really stupid?
- Yeah.
20) What cant you go a day without doing?
- online online online
21) Do you miss anyone?
- Heaps.
22) do you think someone is thinking abt u nw?
- no.
23) Life?
- Is how you handle it.
CRIED SECTION:
1. Have you cried ur heart out?
- Yeah.
2. have you ever cried urself to sleep?
- Yeah.
3. Have you ever cried on ur friend's shoulder?
- Yeah.
4. Do you cry when u get injured?
- Depends..
HAPPY SECTION
1. Are you a happy person?
- I want to.
2. What makes you happy?
- Friends.
3. is being happy overrated?
- Depends.
4. can music make you happy?
- No they just make me even more down.
LOVE SECTION
1. how many times have you had ur heart broken?
- I dont wna count them.
2. have you ever told someone you loved them?
- Yeah.
RELATIONSHIP SECTION
1. do you have feelings for anyone?
- -
2. what kind of guy would u fall for?
- -
HATE SECTION
1. Who do you actually hate?
- sucker and that biatch.
2. Are you a mean bully?
- Not?
SELF ESTEEM SECTION
1. Are you happy with urself?
- Not really.
2. Do you wish u could be someone else?
- Probably.

to some juniors,
stop asking about my personal life, seriously.

SMSS vs St. Nicks: 36-10 respectively.

Im super tired.
I think im having lack of sleep nowadays.
Im usually listening to music instead of sleeping.
I should really sleep,
maybe thats why im not performing in games.
I was the one that screw the whole game up.
sorry guys :\
sat out for 1 quarter, Tricia's shot were amazing.
Trina hands were long and everywhere.
Desirae is cute.
hahahaha.
oh and and...
we're national top 4!
for the first time(((:
sense of achievement but not everyone is happy
cos we didnt play well, so yeah.
next game against sports school,
it either we make it or we dont.
so why dont we do our best and make it all the way to finals(:
jet elle nabilah(:
like what jet said, we're still a team just in different jersey,
no matter the outcome, I hope we'll still be as close as ever(: ily all of you(:
all the best.
gallery walk it postponed to wed, thank god(:
Oh yeah. group we havent do our model for sci yet.
yeah after game,
went home with people.
douby with Jamie Trica Trina.
same old people.
old people.
hahahaha.
well went to macs takeaway.
before that trina and I we went different way from Tricia and Jamie.
raced to Macs from MRT.
oh yeah they won.
Szelin: eh but we good girl didnt run, see we never pant.
*trina and I control panting and then suddenly I burst and my saliva flew everywhere*
omg I swear it was damn gross.
sorry Tricia I think abit of them flew onto your face.
hahahaha.
anyway took the escalator down the MRT, den suddenly I thought I saw someone similar.
den I look again, I saw samuel.
He was like so blurr like seriously,
I think I was like right in front of him, but according to him he was stoning.
when I hit him tricia said she thought I went to hit a stranger.
omg please, tricia maybe you'll do that I wont.
hahahaha.
hilarious.
Jamie was trying to talk to me and stop me from eating fries in the MRT.
hahaha.
Jamie: can you stop eating, you pig ah.
hahaha.
anyway she met her cousin at the bus stop.
we were walking heading to the bus stop then suddenly she run, then I was like erm? den I walk faster.
21 came first(:
hahaha. at least her cousin was with her.
Sorry Friday I cant go dinner with you people.
because I'll me going back to grandparents place.
but do our best on fri yeah((:

Im not suppose to live my life wishing you were there,
March is a torture, I hope April will be better.

I hate mornings.
Ah miss one bus then miss la its not like we're going to school late,
the other bus that comes bring us to school at 7.
shut your crap up and stop asking me to run to the bus stop.
we just look so idiotic okay?
anyway okay cut the thing on top.
so yeah in the morning lynette tried to trick me saying she's not coming to school.
but she failed
I knew it was a trick((:
but I got trick by kiana koh.
rawr.
anyway, erm after school, wait to macs to discuss for gallery walk thingy.
but we didnt,
I went back to school by 3 to meet nevine and jamie and tricia and trina.
hilarious trip back the wind too strong when Joanne and I ran it flip the other side.
Planned to go back primary school but since it was raining we went to Novena instead.
and and Jamieeee met ahem ahem.
she didnt even hear me say eh jamie nike shop.
hahahahaha.
anyway we roam around there, finding a place to eat.
we went into the ramen restaurant then we sat then we didnt want to eat.
so we ran out of the store.
embarrassing I tell you.
so went sakae sushi instead.
and since I ate and Nevine didnt want to eat we sat at a seperate table.
Retarded.
den we decided to go and buy DONUTS
awesomest.
Nevine was retarded la she.
she keep saying eh why is the table vibrating why is the table vibrating in the end its cos her phone vibrating.
-.-
omg la.
anyway nevine had to go so she took her donuts and left.
before that we were like drawing on the box.
oh well,
after 3 of the sushi people finishes eating wanted to pay.
so they were like erm bill.
those who knows how the bill thingy works.
this is what they did they sat there and waited until trina said I think we're suppose to go to the counter to pay-.-
and den when they went to pay they didnt bring the bill thingy along.
hilarious.
anyway I was so desperate of donuts I went out and took out a donut and ate.
and then the chocolate squirt out,
so in the end everyone started eating donuts IN the toilet.
until we finish everything.
after that decided to chao home so walked to the bus stop.
and I think I was stupid enough to say this.
*bus coming and us walking to the bus stop*
jamie: EH SZELIN 21!
szelin: oh oh *run*. *sudden stop* was that April fool? *look at bus* oh really! *ran*
stupid la please.
hahaha, I seriously thought it was April fool.
and guess what I trick sarah using yas trick.
eh you got bloog stain!
hahaha.
hilarious.

why did I wipe away my tears,
when you didnt even shed a tear?
It have been fucking 1 month,
saying missing you wont make a difference,
you have got it going, find a new love.
just my luck.
luck and love is just not on my side.
love? quite interesting uh?
start of story: oh ily oh so much
end of story: sorry, I might come back to you again.
oh probably I'll just forget that sentence.
stop being my nightmare, its scary.
Its often a fucked up feeling I get
Im going to stop all the nonsense Im doing.
your the cause to what im now.
thanks alot.
you'll never know how difficult it is for me,
Im the one experiencing it not you.
you're probably lying like how you did.
taste my pillow, its probably salty.
all the things you said just doesnt feel right.
today's probably your happy day
I hope there'll be a scar,
cos that means I stop bleeding.